We bet you know at least one person in your life who exhibits narcissistic traits. And whenever you deal with them, you know it’s as challenging as can be. To start with, they have an inflated sense of self-importance and lack empathy. Narcissists are also often charming, charismatic individuals who seem to have it all together. But beneath that facade lies a lack of empathy and destructive tendencies.
That said, here’s something interesting: they will never be able to master certain fundamental skills. And that’s what we’ll talk about in this article. We’ll share the 8 fundamental skills that narcissists will never master. Make sure to keep your eyes peeled because this knowledge can help you protect yourself from their manipulation.
Number 1: Showing their authentic selves.
Remember when we talked about how narcissists can seem super charismatic and charming? The truth is that it’s just a show. Being real isn’t their thing. They’d rather put in the effort to maintain their carefully crafted fake personas instead of being authentic, which is a lot easier. Narcissists just can’t seem to be upfront about who they really are. Their strategy is all about highlighting their strengths while quietly downplaying other parts, especially what others might see as their weakness. After all, they have this mindset that they always have to be perfect or superior in the eyes of others. And they’ll do what it takes to maintain that image.
Number 2: Looking within and relying on themselves when they have problems.
You’ll often notice the narcissist’s anger, only to discover later that their anger is usually aimed at you. You can also feel their tension, stress, or anxiety and eventually bear the brunt of it. That’s because they pressure the world around them, thinking, “Everyone else needs to get their act together for me to feel good. If people acted differently, situations were perfect, or the timing was spot-on, I’d be fine.” Thinking that the things happening wrong to them are everyone else’s fault, not theirs, is their way of coping. The narcissist’s mindset is about always placing blame on others because they are never wrong. As a result, they don’t realize that the outside world rarely matches their expectations. And that looking within themselves and tapping into their internal resources, like their unique skills, will help them deal with these mismatches themselves and be more effective in solving their problems.
Number 3: Recognizing that they’re human with weaknesses.
Isn’t it true that our character shows when we face problems, especially during tough times? Our inner traits really guide what we do, don’t they? That’s why recognizing our weaknesses is so important for many of us. We know that by spotting them and working on them, we can stop them from getting in our way, especially when things get tricky. But narcissists? They won’t admit they have weaknesses. In fact, they’d often tell themselves they don’t have any at all. When they need to self-reflect, they wouldn’t be receptive to the idea. They’d often get stubborn and narrow-minded, quickly turning argumentative and emotionally volatile. You’ll notice that they tend to deflect by saying, “There’s nothing wrong with me. You’re the problem.” Even worse? Rather than looking at themselves, narcissists will argue, “Everything would be fine if you just changed to meet my needs.” They really struggle to see their own weaknesses, which is why they’ll never be able to address them and ultimately improve themselves.
Number 4: Thinking or communicating freely.
Narcissists usually come into situations with a fixed plan. That’s why you won’t hear them saying something like, “I have my preferences, priorities, and ideas, but I respect yours, too. Let’s chat and share our thoughts and feelings openly.” Rather, they’d stick to how they think things should be and expect you to just follow them. We’ve come across plenty of stories about narcissistic behavior where, if someone says, “Hey, why not let people be themselves?” the narcissist reacts with disbelief. It’s as if they just can’t wrap their head around the idea of letting others think and say things freely. We know they are capable of that, right? But the narcissists don’t think so. To them, it’s their way or the highway for everyone.
Number 5: Being objective during disagreements.
When you disagree with someone, even if you believe they are wrong, chances are you can still consider thinking, “That person has a perspective different from mine. I wonder why that is. What’s happening in their situation? What’s the backstory?” Or, you may even ask yourself, “Why am I so triggered? What’s happening inside me?” Well, narcissists are built differently. When disagreements pop up, they often lose their objectivity and get paranoid, asking questions like, “Why do you think that way? Why are you doing this to me? Are you trying to make things hard for me?” They don’t realize that this kind of thinking just stirs up tension and anxiety in them. More importantly, objectivity doesn’t appear while subjectivity takes the front seat.
Number 6: Recognizing and appreciating people’s uniqueness.
When you interact with others, you’ll notice that everyone thinks differently. Diversity is just part of being human. You have your perspective, and we have ours. Even you and your family have unique traits and characteristics. It’s a chance for us all to learn from each other, right? But here’s the thing: narcissists might show interest in your unique traits only if they see a way to use them for their gain. Otherwise, it’s like you don’t even matter. Instead, they’ll often think, “Why should I care about your uniqueness?” To them, others don’t really matter much. So they miss out on appreciating what others can positively bring into their lives.
Number 7: Holding back from criticizing others.
The truth is, a lot of narcissists went through a ton of judgment and criticism when they were growing up. Because of that, they started seeing life as all about shame, judgment, and guilt, and figuring out who gets to dish it out to others. Their experience led them to develop this twisted belief that those who can give the harshest of criticisms to others are the victors in life. So, they decided to play the game themselves by becoming the ones in charge of judgment and criticism. And after being subjected to all that, now they want to be the winners in the unhealthy dynamic. It might be others who won back then. But now, it’s their time to be the winner. And no one will take that win from them. They will see to it. That’s why they’re stuck in this mindset of judgment and shame. They developed this belief that if they don’t criticize others, they’ll lose the game and become the victims again. And no one wants that, especially the narcissist.
Number 8: Letting go of competitiveness.
Ever talked to a narcissist and thought, “I’m not trying to outdo you”? That’s their game, though. Think of it this way: you might say something as trivial as, “I visited my favorite restaurant yesterday,” and they’ll jump in with, “Oh, you want to know the best place in town? I just went there, and it’s way better than where you went.” They just have to outshine you, even in the simplest chats. Or maybe you have an idea, preference, or opinion. But when you share it with them, they act and make you feel like theirs is better. And if you tell them, “We both have our own thoughts. So, let’s treat each other as equals and learn from each other,” they just can’t do it. Someone has to have the better ideas, and that someone is them. Simply put, they will turn every conversation into a competitive game of one-upmanship. While we find it unnecessary, for a narcissist, it’s just how they are. There’s no room for compromise.
Read More: 4 Things Narcissists Never Get Over.
Sharing Is Caring!
